Ok, I am going to type some random text and copy it several times and then see how that looks from various computers. Here we go. I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl. I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.

Paragraph break. And a continuation of said silliness I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.

Should I justify the paragraphs or let them hang freely? Let's try them justified just for kicks. I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.I lika do da cha cha. I do da cha cha like a sissy girl.

     Can you tell a green field from cold steel rail. Do you think you can tell. So, so you think you can tell. Heaven from hell. Blue skies from pain. A smile from a vale. Did they get you to trade, your heroes for ghosts. Did you exchange a walk on part in a war, for a lead role in a cage. So clearly just typing some other random text here, though not so random as much as a great Pink Floyd song, oh lyrics coming back. How I wish, how I wish you were here. We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl. Running over the same old ground. Have we found the same old fears? Ok, enough of that.

Should I title my entry and then date it? Like:

I Ate What?
Monday, October, 9th

Hmmm, these are things to be considered.

Relaxing Photo Day
Monday, October, 9th

     Oh I think I like this style. Anyway, today I managed to go to Koriyama for some sushi and then some minor shopping needs. When I was at sushi I was sitting near this uber-hottie. I knew her from somewhere, but I couldn't place the face. She was dressed sorda trashy with high heels and a short tight skirt. Then I realized she worked at the sushi place, but was just off now. IT was strange since I always pictured her not so trashy, though I only had her uniform to judge her by.

     I also took my camera for some reason and managed to snap a few dozen shots. Some were of local shrines, since I just drove around randomly when I got back to Konan. Some were of Koriyama's Love Hotels which always have a similar look, and others were just random things in Koriyama. Here are a few. Oh, I will try to place them around this document rather than just putting them in the middle as I always do. Let's give it a try.

     If you want some adult magazines or DVDs, no need to go to a shop, there are places right on the side of the road. Just pull right up and get your fill. Don't worry that it's on a busy road in a small town and everyone will know it's your car, you pull right up and get what you need.

     I always pass these cool log houses on the side of this hill and never have my camera. So now I did and I was in a picture mood so I snapped one. It's an amazingly decent shot since I was driving and not looking at the camera and they are more or less perfectly centered.

     I'm going to try the font Book Antiqua for a while. Then I drove by the love hotel area of Koriyama and took some photos. Here is one shot. Click on the photo and it will take you to a special place, or a page with more photos of Love Hotels.

     As you can see they are always gaudy and don't even try to hide in the slightest. I think they go out of their way to attract attention. You would think, since they are designed to be somewhat secretive, they wouldn't be so flashy.

      I finally took some before shots before the massive snow falls. The snow itself isn't massive, it's regular size, it's the amount that is el massivo. So here is the link to the before shots, though they are just before and boring. The real fun starts when there is six million giga-tons of snow in my path. I'm curious what it is going to be like without two other guys living here and shoveling snow as well. I might get blocked in a few times. ARGH.  I really think the teacher's house's roof was poorly planned. I mean it's not like snow in this area is a sudden new thing. They should have tilted it back or to the side or in basically ANY direction than for it to dump right in front of the place. Seriously people.

     It's not a link, just an image of the stupid ATM hours at banks. Don't you people know ATM means Any Time Machines? Luckily 7-11s have ATMs that are actually 24 hours. That is such a strange concept, now I wish gas stations and super markets would stay open 24 hours as well.

      Whenever you hear me talking about going into Koriyama for $1 sushi I am most likely going here. Genki Sushi (gain-key (more or less) it means healthy). It's right across from the $1 store, making this a little $1 area (technically it's 100 yen, but that would make it an .88 cent store and that sounds stupid.

     So then when I get back to Konan I drive around some and take quick photos of some of the shrines and what not that are scattered around. This one is technically just before Konan, but still cool. I want to follow the path of sacred wonder and purity at some point. You can barely see it. Actually there are two, one goes up the hill and the other goes off into the distance. So I guess I will go ahead and make a page of some Konan area shrines. [10 minutes later] Ok here is the link. Said link I should say. Here is said link. I still think that sounds dumb. Said word sounds dumb.

     Well I think I like this new layout. I think I like Book Antiqua, though I wish I could have a slightly smaller font, maybe 11pt. Let me see if I can do that. This is 11pt. There is no option for 11pt so I had to type it in which means I will probably always forget. Ok, so I am going to leave it like this for a while and see how it looks. Apart from the awkward transition above with all the cha cha and sissy girls, I think it looks better. Over and out. As you were.

Back to school
Tuesday, October, 10th

     This title thing is going to be tough when nothing major happens. Though Relaxing Photo Day wasn't major, at least it was a theme.

Me: You know your class won the diary challenge last semester, but you are losing bad this term.
Student: Yes we are losing very bad.
Me: Actually you aren’t even participating, no one has turned anything in for several weeks.
Student: Oh, well…X-sensei said….uh…oh I don’t know…I have to leave.

     Hmmm. I would guess she was going to say “X-sensei said we don’t have to do it” since X-sensei has always been secretly critical of me and how I actually give points to students. How dare I? Teaching kids that if you make an effort you might get a reward and if you do nothing you won’t. I am such a troublemaker. I should know by now we are still just giving blind positive reinforcement regardless of what they do (or don’t do).

     There is a cleanliness to the air when it gets cool. It will carry the smell of smoke, like burning leaves, but that’s pleasant during the fall. It won’t carry general stink like summer air will. I’m actually looking forward to the weather getting cold, I don’t know why since I don’t like cold weather. It wasn’t even that hot of a summer either. I wonder what it would be like in a country where it never gets cold. I guess I will find out when I move to Thailand at some point in the future.

    Speaking of smoke, I went to the Smile Mart to get coffee since once again I didn’t sleep well. I fell asleep watching TV and when I woke up, briefly, to cut it off, which took maybe 4 seconds, I couldn’t get back to sleep. I don’t know what I have done recently to have brought on this change. So anyway, I get the coffee and there is some old man in the store with the male owner and the wife owner. The men are both puffing away and the smell was truly overwhelming. I so can’t stand the smell of smoke, especially in closed spaces. Outside is fine, smoke away, kill yourself, but in small rooms it’s just obnoxious. Of course he owned this place so there was nothing I could do or say, not that I would in Japan anyway.

     People keep putting crap on my desk. Not actual crap, just things that aren’t mine. I don’t mean memos and crap like that I mean THEIR notebooks and papers as they are using the computer by my desk. Now, at the current moment, there is a huge notebook of el crapo on my desk. Some papers fell out and went into my diary drop box and then the diaries that were standing up fell on them. It was classic. I saw it happen and chose to ignore it. I wiped it from my memory, except for this summary. Then some teachers put papers on my desk about something (could be considered more crap). Then I moved some things around looking for something. Later I noticed I had inadvertently covered the big notebook. THEN I saw the teacher whose notebook it was, looking for SAID notebook on his desk. “Here it is, it’s right here” I thought to myself. He’s still looking, and I’m still not telling him.

     I was in the bathroom doing something that involved sitting. Someone came in and I gave the obligatory “[I’m in the stall]...cough cough cough”. Whomever it was flushed the stand up toilet about 20 times. It was like he couldn’t go unless there was the constant sound masking it or of running water. It was so annoying and wasteful. I have heard it before, but I don’t know who it is.

     I’m really getting frustrated with many things, most of which stem from how we as Native Teachers are supposed to be different and try teaching English in a native different style, but are forced to conform to the never bending system. What bugs me now is there are no real grades in schools and there is no discipline. Overall I have great kids, but the 8^th graders are always rowdy. The first years (7th) are still new and scared, the third years (9th) are preparing for tests and graduation, but the second years (8^th graders) are rowdy and loud.

      Today I had a prep-class with the class I will teach in the observation class on Friday. I had to say shut up about 10 times. Then I made/let them use my web quiz to practice for the test tomorrow. About 5 of the 22 took it seriously. A few were on computers that didn’t work so they just sat there watching their friends. The last few flat out played games online or surfed other sites, not even trying to hide it. I let it go and made notes. Well the first 7 times I told them to stop at which time they would switch over and then almost immediately switch back. At the end a few of the usually nice girls, but this time they were goofing off, were leaving late and I showed them the list. They were shocked and scared and then apologized. Since then I have told a few that I am sad because they weren’t participating. I could tell their homeroom teacher, but I don’t want to go that far.

     Why should they participate? I mean from a student point of view, if I were their age, I wouldn’t want to do difficult stuff. I would want to goof off as well. The only thing that stopped me in the US was we had actual consequences for our equal and opposite actions, but not in Japan where Newton’s laws don’t apply. They know regular teachers can’t do anything, much less the foreigner who really has no power. All I can do is buck the system and reward the kids that participated in front of those that didn’t. I’ll do it next week so as not to tick them off in front of my lesson Friday.

     Day after day, especially the winter days, I think about Thailand and teaching English there or even just finding some beach and chilling for a whole month. Man I could get some serious writing done at the orphanage even while helping them do various things.

     Oh I need more photos if I am going to do this new style. Well here is a photo of some flamingoes from that time Paula and I went to dinner at the weird flamingo place near her house. It has nothing to do with anything really, but it was strange being at this seafood place with a glass cage of flamingoes in the middle. They were always squawking and stuff, but overall it was cool to watch them in their semi-native habitat. By semi-native I mean not native at all.

Not Feeling so Fresh
Wednesday, October, 11th

     I was in the bathroom again and the phantom flusher came in. That is so annoying. Why would you constantly flush the toilet? I have to find a way to figure out who it is. At least we are on the same bathroom schedule.

     I might take a vacation day today. I just don’t feel good partially because I definitely have some form of insomnia and partially because I am still down about the class yesterday. On top of that I don’t have anything to do today. I was supposed to oversee one of the classes take a test today, but some teacher, who shall remain nameless felt I might not be able to handle it.

Yea. That was a good call.

Not insulting in the least.

I can imagine it would be difficult to

SIT IN A ROOM FOR 45 MINUTES AND WATCH KIDS TAKE A TEST

Whew, glad I don’t have to do that. It would have been so difficult I might have panicked.

     I’m just in a foul mood today and need to have a change of pace. I’ll go mail my manuscript to my friend in the US who is going to edit/read through/trash it. Then I will start submitting it to publishers as my memoirs. That is a fun word, memoir. Mem woir. I should start collecting my second book which will be based on my 2^nd 3-4 years as a Native Teacher.

     What other acronyms can I make from NT? I mean as a JET I was called an ALT or Assistant Language Teacher, but I was really just an Automatic Language Tape-player. Now I could be No Talent, or Not a Teacher, or Never Teaching, or Naughty Titmouse. Not sure where that one came from.

     Occasionally I get an English question from one of the English speaking teachers. Usually they are legit, but sometimes, I feel they are asking because they feel they should or they were told to. It’s almost like “be sure to ask him to check your English often so he feels needed”. Maybe I am over reacting, but that’s how I feel sometimes.

    I had to give the notebook back. I moved some things around on my desk and accidentally uncovered it and a different teacher at the computer desk beside me saw it and saw whose name it was. I really had no choice but to act surprised and then return it. It was still fine as he said he had been searching for it for a while.

     I have this annoying need to impress people, or rather not offend them. I usually end up talking too much in some feeble effort to make conversation with people and it's most always about things of which I know nothing. It's caused me to say too much or the wrong thing on several occasions. It also causes me to never form my own opinions about things and conform to the other persons in some way. Honestly I think I am doing it now.

[later]

    Yea I took off at 10:30am and went to Koriyama. I was going to eat at my favorite place and I even made a point of getting there early, but it was still packed. ARGH. So I ate at McDonald's because the salty fries would taste good. Then I mailed my manuscript, bought some more little things for making cool notes for the kids, then finally got some medicine for my on going cough. I think I was really too sleepy to be driving, but I made it back ok. I got here around 2pm and took the medicine, which made me sleepy and I didn't sleep much last night. I ended up passing out from 2:30pm to 9:30pm. Now I am awake and fully rested. ARGH.

Out of Order
Thursday, October 12, 2006

     There is an order in which I must greet my superiors and any deviation from that will not be tolerated. I’ve been warned before, as I was warned again today, so further errant behavior will result in punishment.

     One thing I find strange about Japan, one of many, is how people can’t spell something even after they just wrote it. Once when I bought a computer monitor the guy looked at it and just blatantly wrote the wrong name. It was called CRUCE and he wrote cLuce. Come on? Can’t you see it? You are reading it. Today a kid was writing about a joke in his diary and went on a horrible misspelling tangent.

Read and enjoy, this is verbatim:

I was born to love you.

No it’s jork.
I like to jork.
Does Ryan like jek?
Does Ryan always to jerk?
Does Ryan jerk with friends?

     OK we are getting too personal there. Then he came to get his book and asked me about if I will jerk for him. I laughed, but didn’t explain why, only that the word is JOKE.

     Just had a little oopsie with two girls. They were asking me about how to say various things in English. I pulled out my dictionary and told them. The last one was zen zen, which means not at all or never. I knew it, but wanted to show them the text so they read the spelling. So I was looking for it and just reading the words I came to which were close to zen zen. One word was zenra, which happens to mean stark naked. So I read it and the girls looked at me and got quiet. Then I heard it in my head and moved on. That was fun.

Is it ironic that I usually misspell the word misspell?

     All the teachers are in the teacher’s room waiting for a meeting that was supposed to start at 3:45. It’s 4 now and we are still waiting. We are waiting because it’s rude in Japan to say “she is busy can I take a message?”. OH MY GOD I am offended by merely typing it. It’s not rude to interrupt a meeting with pointless phone calls that could easily wait, but it is rude to ask someone to call back later or simply leave a message.

Job Well Done
Friday, October 13, 2006

     Well I just had my observed class and it went smoothly, for the most part. Since I showed them the activities advance they knew how to do them and it ended up taking far less time than I thought. Luckily at the last minute I had added another round in each of the two games which added a few minutes. Then at the end when I realized I was going to end 10 minutes early, I went around the room asking questions based on the structure they were learning. That killed 5 minutes. Then I stretched the final goodbye activity a bit and really just ended about 3 minutes early, which is fine in the end.

     One thing I had to decide on the spot ended up being perfect. There is a special student in the class who never speaks and doesn’t really participate at all. There was one extra student in an activity and there was no way he could have done this activity so I pulled him out and made him my “assistant”. I gave him stupid job duties and truly didn’t need him, but it would have been rude to simply have him not participate, especially with the group system the way it is in Japan. After the class several teachers and even the principal came to me and said I handled it very well. Overall the lesson was great and it was exactly what they wanted to see. I’m sure I’ll get high marks all around.

     I don’t want to sound rude, but I really don’t think this kid should be at this school. He obviously has special needs and we simply aren’t addressing them. I mean he does nothing in class and usually just wanders around the school. He, and the other students like him, should go to a special school where they can actually have one on one attention and learn some functional skills. But parents don’t want to be the family with the different child so they don’t transfer the kids and don’t even think about it. We as teachers have to include them and be careful around them. I have no problem with him and I rather like him since he’s just a cool guy, but he isn’t benefiting from being here. He’s definitely not going to high school, unless he then goes to a special school.

     After the observed lesson we had some meeting where two observers told us about various things. I watched the other two teachers who were observed and they were over acting. Like when someone gave advice, they would make a big "oh..." face and nod and scribble something down. I did the same thing even though they were speaking to me in Japanese and I was following about 5/16^ths of it. Who am I kidding it was more like 7/23^rds. Then I almost started to giggle. They passed out this full color, of course, PowerPoint printout of something. One of the slides talked about good activities. One example of a good activity was "The Touching Game". Hey that sounds fun. Well not so much with the kids. I'm going to scan it and post it here soon.

Seriously, I can't even imagine what TTG could be about.

Let's English
Saturday, October 14, 2006

     I went to school at 8am to help with the national standardized English test. I didn't mind getting up that early, which at my age actually isn't early at all. I didn't realize how boring proctoring a test is. I mean the tests mentioned above were only 45 minutes, but the reading and writing part of this test was 65 minutes. An hour and five minutes of me sitting there proctoring this test. If I studied how to do that would I be a proctorologist?

     The test was fine. I think it tests usable English, unlike the gibberish we are tested on in Japanese. Why is gibberish spelled with a G and pronounced Jibberish? Oh English, gotta love its lack of standard pronunciation.  That is the one thing easy about Japanese, you always know how to pronounce it.

     After the test I helped the kids prepare for the big school festival next Sunday. My second big box of winter clothes and other things of the like arrived. I emptied it out since it was mostly some stuff for school like posters and easy English books. Then I took the huge, empty, box around and threw it at kids after I acted like I was struggling with it. One kid laughed and then said "I think you stopped maturing at age 15". I looked like I was getting mad and said "NO, it was more like age 12". Then, when the lunch arrived, the other English teacher had me make the announcement over the intercom. It was funny. At first I tried to sound exactly like the vice principal when he tells all the teachers to come in for the morning meeting. Then I got a little silly, still sounding professional. I said "Attention, this message is for the teachers, the ramen that was order has arrived, it is now time for ramen, it's....ramen time. If you ordered ramen, please arrive in the teacher's room shortly". It was funny and the few students there enjoyed it as well. I stayed at school until 2 something on a Saturday. I think I went to my old school maybe once on a Saturday and that was to see the school festival. I don't mind being at work late or on weekends, when I have things to do.

     The more I say that word in my head the more it sounds like some place from Lord of the Rings.

Are you the King of Gondor?

     No, I am Lord of Gibber.

Then what form of being art thou?

    We are Gibbers. We speak Gibberish. All Hail the land of Gibber.

     That reminds me of when I was home visiting my family. The fam. I was at my mother's school (the one at which she works, she doesn't own it) and some teacher friend asked me what I was doing now. Off the top of my head I said:

I design, arrange, and sell shrubbery. I am a shrubber. I am Ryan the shrubber.

     She thought I was serious since I said it without thinking and with that deadpan face. She laughed and managed to keep a straight face and then I told her I was kidding. I should have gone on longer. Oh wait maybe that was at a grocery store. Or somewhere else. Hmmm.

      Oh man, you won't believe this. The other day....oh wait...that wasn't me.

Over and out. As you were. At ease.

Squealing
Monday, October 16th, 2006

     During the morning meeting some teacher stood up, pointed out the window, and yelled “crash car crash car”. Naturally I assumed a car had crashed, but that’s how they refer to old cars. The reason she interrupted the meeting was they were being driven by famous people in some Cannonball Run type race around Japan. I think it’s only between a few prefectures, but they drove directly in front of our school. Eh…it was a little cool seeing these old cars drive by on a cool fall day knowing someone famous was driving them. Though I wouldn’t know someone famous from the garbage men, it was still kinda cool.

     Sunday I went into Koriyama, alone, since my lunch plans flaked out on me. I always seem to have that problem. When someone says “hey this Sunday let’s do lunch” I take that as a verbal contract, a definite plan, a commitment. But I seem to be in the minority. In college someone in particular would say “hey let’s go play golf bright early on Saturday” so I would wake up even brighter and earlier and head over to pick whomever up. Only to learn they were just making small talk and were zonked out asleep.

     Yesterday the plans fell through because someone’s significant other was supposed to work and I was apparently the back up plan. Then when said SO got the day off at the last minute, they decided to take a last minute day trip somewhere. I was told only when I emailed to confirm pickup time. Funny thing is it was really inconvenient for me to go into Koriyama on Sunday, I really needed to go on Saturday and then spend Sunday cleaning and working on things. But I altered my plans, as I always do, and paid the price, as I often do. From now on I’m going to try to think about what I need first. If that works out so that I won’t have to be alone one day, then great, but if not then I have no problem being alone. I have plenty of experience at it.

     When I was out, I found a new sushi place near Aeon Town, which is some big shopping center. The sushi place has always been there, but it is around a corner that I never venture to. I ventured there this time since I was bored and it was a nice day. I tried to waste time rather than rush home and do nothing, alone, in my small town. I also went to the donut place and had a few. While I was there I had three people break in line directly in front of me. I truly don’t understand this. One person might have been in line before me and jumped out to get a few more donuts.

    Maybe there is some universal rule where they can get back in line at their original space. The other two people, however, clearly came in behind me. One woman stood in between the two lines and when the woman in front of me finished, the between lady politely gestured and stepped in front of me. Japanese people are always so polite, even when they are cutting in front of you. The last lady was just stupid. She stood at the back of the line and shouted a few stupid questions and then just walked up and cut.

     I have to figure this out. Either there is some hidden cultural reason why it happens or these people are just stupid and rude. It can’t be that obvious. It can’t simply be that they are all stupid and rude. There has to be some reason why it’s ok to cut. I have determined it is rude to wait in Asia. When driving, people won’t wait if you are slow. They will just pass you, even if you are going around a blind turn. If someone is stopped in the road and turning, but waiting for cars to pass, the car behind will do whatever, and I mean whatever, it takes to get around that car. It doesn’t matter that the car could just wait 15 seconds, it’s rude to wait. When you are in line to buy something, the absolute micro-second the person before you is finished they will be shuffled to the side so the next person can hurriedly move up. I understand that a little, but they exaggerate it here. I mean the second you receive your change, it’s over. You have to find some place to put your money away and your wallet since you are now in the way. In Thailand and Cambodia taxis would drive all over the road and even the sidewalk to get around a car in front of them that was moving 1/100^th of a mile per hour slower. Just the slightest bit slower and it’s over. I kept telling the Thai drivers I was in no hurry and they didn’t have to drive like a mad man, but it didn’t matter. Even the bus to Sangklaburi, which is way north near Burma, would pass people on curves. The only reason that was tolerable, was the fact that we were on a big bus and most of the other vehicles were cars. It would have been the car’s problem, not ours, if something happened.

     I am so bored right now. I have no classes this week so I have nothing to prepare for. I should be working on the news cast video we are making, but I need a few more people to video their parts. I need a few parts urgently so I can make the intro and exit. I keep wandering around and going in classes where the students are freely working on various preparation things. I might walk home later and get my flash drive and camera so I can work on other things.

     Strangers in the night, exchanging glances, wondering in the night, what were the chances, we could fall in love… and some other words.

     I hung out in the gym for a while as the kids made some elaborate opening ceremony thing that will take about 100 hours to make and we will use for 2 minutes on Sunday. Granted it will probably look cool, but it’s just funny how much effort they are putting in to something with a lifespan of like 2 minutes.

     They are basically painting paper and wrapping the paper around plastic drink bottles. Then they cut out the ends and slide the bottles onto a long string of Christmas lights. The whole process has been inefficient, but the worst part was when they were sliding the bottles down the string of lights. It took like one minute PER bottle per foot since they had to fit the lights through these small openings. I suggested 4 ways of doing it better, but I counted about 284 possible ways of saving time. I was told “well there is a special way of doing this, and maybe you don’t understand”. What I understand is this special way is the most inefficient and you simple don’t want to think about that so you say I don’t understand why you do it this way. I truly don’t understand why they were doing it that way when it was clearly the worst way. I really wanted an actual explanation, even one that I thought was stupid, but all I got was the basic “we can’t explain our advance process to you” speech.

To Do Lists
Tuesday, October 17th, 2006

     I have a stack of papers on my desk in a pile called “To Be Translated”. I discovered one disadvantage to letting that stack build up today. Yesterday during the morning meeting a teacher passed out an envelope that I thought was about donating to charity. I took it and put it off to the side in the above mentioned “To Be Translated” stack. Then later I noticed several cars in the parking lot (car park for the Brits) being inspected. Didn’t think to put the two together. Today I get here and asked a teacher if his car was ok and he said it was great and I asked what was wrong with it yesterday. He said nothing, it was the free inspection they talked about…didn’t I get the envelope about it? ARGH.

     I keep making to do lists. Then I make other lists that prioritize these lists, and ones that prioritize the prioritizing lists. So I trashed them all and made one online list that I can access anywhere in the world. I can even assign priorities and due dates and sort it in various ways. So far it made me realize I am lazy and have a million things to actually do.

     Last night I stayed at school until around 7 and then went home and ate while watching something. I think it was some baseball game. Like Mets and the Cardinals. Obviously I don’t follow baseball or I would have known that was an important game. So then I got a little drowsy at around 8pm and made it until about 9. Then I got dressed in my sleepy wear and jumped in bed in case I went to sleep. I even set my alarm. Then my alarm went off early like 5 minutes later. No wait, it’s sunny outside. It’s actually Tuesday. I slept for 9 hours like a log and other nights I can’t even sleep for 3? I even dreamed about sleeping (and something involving William Shattner that I can’t seem to understand). Well I guess I needed it and I actually don’t have insomnia, just reacting poorly to something I am eating or drinking. ARGH again.

     This week I think I will stay a bit later, or at least to 7 pm. When I left last night there were still people busy at work with various things. Some kids were cutting little tickets for food and such at the school festival. I offered to help by cutting them (the tickets not the kids) in the printing room where we have a paper cutter, but they said no. I couldn’t figure out why and then one girl who always explains things to me, told me a certain amount of time was allotted for each process and making one step more efficient than another would throw a wrench in the whole process. This is the only country where efficiency is frowned upon as long as each member of the group has something to do.

     The secretary just came into the room and announced “I need some help with something for a minute”. The ten teachers in the room, including myself, got up and went to help her. It was to move one box onto one table. One person did it and 9 of us watched. How many Japanese teachers would it take to unscrew a light bulb? What annoyed me was the sheer pointlessness of it all. Here are three options that would have made things go smoother:

A) Clarify you have one box to be moved three feet onto one table.
B) Ask for one or two people to help you with something.
C) Ask one or two people directly to help you.

     But none of these involve appeasing the group, making everyone in the group feel warm and cozy because they were asked to help, and jumped to your side. That is more important than the fact it disturbed everyone. I wonder if I will ever understand Japanese culture.

     I hate having to budget each paycheck and shuffle things around. Most of it is my own fault so I guess this is my punishment for wild spending in college, but really it could have been much worse. I could have run up 100K in bills and had to declare bankruptcy. I guess the silver lining is this has made me semi thrifty now. I know I won’t get in debt that bad again. I have so many friends who have 10-20K in the bank here and don’t even know or care when we get paid. I know the exact date and time of each paycheck and count down from day one. Two things that do annoy me though are those people will 60 million in the bank (not literally) who are uber-stingy. I understand having some fiscal thrift, but there are some things that just annoy me. Like on payday when someone with no expenses and no loans and no bills says “oh I can’t go there it costs $10 to eat and I am broke”. No you are not jackass, you are just a stingy moron. There is stingy and there is thrifty. I also hate people who won’t loan friends small amounts of money when they really need it. That’s from several years ago, but I still hate it. Oh the second thing I hate is why do I always have some expense other people don’t. When I was in Fukushima city I was the one with outrageous rent, and most of the other people had no rent. Plus I was the one that got screwed over by my predecessor, not the others. So my first year here was me throwing $1,500 a month down the drain when other people were putting that into savings or paying off bills. One guy I know sent back $1,500 USD each month and still traveled. But not me, nope for some reason I was the sole exception. So that was three things big deal.

     Last, and completely unrelated, is how things claim to be free and then ask for a credit card. If they are free you don’t need my CC. If you offer a 30 day money back guarantee, that’s also not free. That is the possibility of being free if I am not satisfied. Furthermore, I hate it when they say there is no charge your first month, and then decline your card because it’s full. Yea, if there is no charge, why are you charging me? There will be room when the payment is due.

     The “don’t do drugs” van is parked out front and the kids take turns going through it. I went through with one group. It was supposed to scare the kids away from drugs, and maybe it did, but I thought it was silly. One TV showed someone trying to draw a circle after using drugs. And he couldn’t, it was all squiggly lines. Oh the humanity, how could they even show the kids something that horrific. That reason alone is why I will never do drugs. Actually the reason I won’t do heroin, one reason, is from reading the book “The Damage Done” about Warren Fellows who smuggled heroin in and out of Thailand and then got caught. He was sentenced to a long time at Bangkok’s Bang Kwang and the book is about his time there. Yea it's bad.

     I was back in the gym helping the kids do the strange pet bottle on the string of lights thing, but I had to leave because the annoying inefficiency reached a peak. We have these 200 foot long strings of lights with bottles around them. The bottles have delicate paper glued to them so we have to handle them carefully. Fine. The first I’d say hour was spent with a few teachers slowly lowering and then unraveling the strings from the second floor balcony. Then they added more. Then it was time for us to put them back upstairs. I asked why since it takes so long to get them down and we aren’t using the gym this week. Even if we do use the gym we could just put them off to one side. So the answer was we put the strings back upstairs, because that’s what we do. Logic plays no part. It’s just the way it’s done. My idea was a variable and variables will not be tolerated.

     I had an interesting conversation with a girl I mentioned before. She’s a 6^th grader and always wears gothic clothes or real conservative clothes. Today she was wearing something of no interest. I said hello to her and she asked me if I knew that CBGBs had closed. I didn‘t have any idea what she was talking about, because I was sure she had no idea about the famous club in New York named CBGBs. Why would she, she is a 6^th grader in rural Japan. But that’s exactly what she was talking about. She likes Sid and Nancy as well as the Ramones. She knew the Ramones played there years ago and seemed to know it was closing. I googled it and sure enough yesterday was its last day. This kid always amazes me.

     Something that is really really really annoying me lately is how things seem to keep disappearing. I will create a spreadsheet or something and then later I can find the spreadsheet, but the stuff inside is different. Sometimes my emails seem to disappear from my inbox or junk mail box. At first I assumed I threw them away, but now it happens so much I know something is going on. If it were only the emails I would assume I deleted them by accident or there is some virus, but it’s several things. I put some papers on my desk, and then later they are gone. I create a spreadsheet and later it’s different. It doesn’t stop.

     If it’s a joke, then kudos to whomever or whatever is doing it. Seriously, I think it would be awesome to break into people’s houses and not steal anything, just rearrange things. Like put some dishes in the sink. Throw some garbage on the floor. Leave some cabinets open. But they would have to be all different times. Of course you could never steal anything, that way the people would just think they are going crazy or blame other people who live there.

Yea sometimes it’s fun to be in my head.

Will I help?
Wednesday, October 18th, 2006

     There are tests for the seniors all day today and the way the schedule is set up they need me to help with the tests. I told several teachers I have nothing to do today and would be happy to proctor a test, so let’s wait and see….YES. 2^nd period I sit in the 3-1 class for the math exam. You see, whining does make a difference.

     During the morning meeting another humorous phone thing happened. The phone rang during the morning meeting as usual, and the lady beside me answered it. I would have assumed the secretary would have answered it, but that would have been logical. So the lady answers it and as I have mentioned before Japanese people have no volume control. She starts talking full volume, so the vice principal starts talking even fuller volume, so now she can’t hear and starts talking even more fuller (louder). Finally the VP stops and waits and she says something like “ok, we are in a meeting now and X-sensei is about to speak so I will have him call you shortly”. I was impressed she took a message, but that’s not how we do things in Japan, so….About 4 seconds later the phone rings again. Same lady in the same loud voice says “I’m sorry we are still in a meeting and now X-sensei is speaking, I will have HIM call YOU in a few minutes”.

   Must call X-sensei
   Someone is not following protocol. Will not allow me to speak to X-sensei.
   Variables will not be tolerated.
   Must call back again and again until objective is reached.

       So they hang up and about as long as it takes to redial the phone rings again. I might as well copy and paste the above transaction since it was verbatim. Then for some reason I did something I shouldn’t have but it worked out perfectly. She hung up the phone, the vice principal asked if it was ok and she said sorry it was, then I sat up and stuck my hand in the air counting down from 5. When I reached 1 the phone rang. People laughed and then X-sensei answered it. The entire phone call was about 10 seconds. Most of that was him saying “hello this is Konan-JHS’s X-sensei sorry you had to wait (for 2 rings)”. The other person said something like “my student who is in your class left his textbook in the car and I will bring it during lunch”. Ok then, buh bye. Then we continued the meeting.

     The VP started reading to us again. You know this would be great if I could have people read memos to me when I wanted to study Japanese, but when I need to leave for the bathroom or to prepare a room it’s just annoying. Please look at the full color bus schedule in front of you and follow along. Starting in November, the bus going to Hamaji will now leave the school at 4:21pm rather than 4:19pm. The other leaving times are…(5 minutes to class warning bell)…and the scheduled times for the Akatsu bus are…also if you will note in your printout this year they will be using the newer model bus as shown in the photo marked “new buses used for the xxx line”…(bell to show 1^st period has started)…furthermore the students who live in Miyo and usually walk, will have the option of riding a bus during this time. That schedule s well as a photo of the new Miyo buses is located…(teacher cutting in) eh…we have tests that should have already started, can we just read the rest of the memo ourselves and go to class? Oh well...uh…(principal and vice principals discuss this for at least 30 seconds)…ok, that’s fine. (we are now ten minutes into the first testing period. But one good thing came out of this…

     I heard two teachers in the hall complaining about why these memos are read to us. YAY I’m not just a bitter whiner (at least not on this) other people think it’s dumb as well.

     I just finished filming the last bits of the kid’s news cast where they explain our school in English. Luckily someone made school announcements during our breaks so they didn’t interrupt us. The announcements they kept making were for an urgent meeting that had started, but was missing three people. It was unusual for teachers to be late to these. I saw one in the gym and told him about the announcements. He said he knew even though the gym speakers were off, but he didn’t have time for another meeting. They have had so many this week the classes are getting behind with some preparations. Then he said all they do is read memos so what’s the point. Wow that made me feel far less whiny.

     Just had a groovy little language goof. I gave a student a sticker of SpongeBob for writing in her diary since she wrote a lot and requested it. Then when I saw her in the hall she asked if she could choose the sticker next time. I replied “co-ed public bath, co-ed public bath”. Of course that makes no sense and is slightly inappropriate, but a similar word that means “greedy” might make more sense. Co-ed public bathing (which is sadly rare and only old people) is konyoku. Greedy is donyoku. I just said it without thinking and that came out for some reason.

Group not always best
Thursday, October 19th, 2006

     There are times when having a group decide something, and then using ALL the ideas the group came up with, is a bad thing. I think that's the case most of the time, but there are times that stand out more. Here's one, it's an advertisement for something for old people, maybe insurance or whatever. One thing about Japan is that you must always have a cute little mascot. Everything organization has some cute little mascot and they sometimes have mascot challenges on TV. At least when these organizations actually create a full sized suit of the mascot. But this mascot for the old people thing is a little strange. Let's take a look:

Seriously.

     Is that some sex device? I mean, OMG what is that? I truly think it's a suppository or something naughty. If not, then OMG again, what were you thinking? That's not cute. P-man? Maybe-san? Someone needs to be fired, but I guess that would mean firing the whole group.

     I had to hide my personal laptop at school since the city will come by soon to check our equipment. About half the teachers put their personal devices into their desks. I don’t know if this makes sense or not. It seems like it doesn’t, but I am to the point that I think anything that annoys me doesn’t make sense. I can understand not allowing personal computers on the network or things like that, but merely having them here seems a bit odd. I have mine because it has the same programs and the OS is in English. I can follow the Japanese one most of the time, but when I want to know how to do something in a program I use mine and then remember the steps for the school’s Japanese computer. The bummer thing about this is that I can’t work on the video. I am nearly finished, but I need to work on a few things.

     One reason I could never be a full time Japanese teacher is that you can’t have any life. The teachers, especially those with homerooms and more especially the two homeroom teachers of the seniors, stay at school until about 9:30 every night this week. Then they drive 30-45 minutes home. They come in every single day for at least 8 hours. This Friday there is some mandatory teacher versus student basketball game (not looking forward to it) and then Saturday they will be here ALL DAY doing last minute preparations. Sunday is the school festival and then after that there is a “job well done” party. Other weeks they stay until 7 or 8 and still come in on Saturday.

     The absolute worst would be to be a vice principal. We have two and they both live an hour away. They get here every weekday morning at 7am and leave at 10 (at the earliest). They are here 6 days a week and sometimes on Sunday. The only good thing about being a VP, or being married to one, would be to know that in X number of years you will most likely be a principal and then be quite rich. Our principal is like a ship captain I guess. He knows everything about the school and has meetings and stuff with important people, but the VPs actually run the school.

     The other English teacher here just had a kid and honestly he never gets to really see the baby. At night I’m sure the child is asleep when he gets in and then in the morning he is still asleep. On weekends when the teacher isn’t here he might see the kid a little, but man not much.

     The auditors are here and they are definitely auditors. They are walking around looking at everything and not smiling. I wonder if that is part of the job.

[later]

     Man. Today was the "just like in the movies" day. It was unreal. There were several movie moments, but I will narrow it down to just three. First I was trying to make a fake dummy that I could throw out of a window and film. It had to be dressed in the student's gym clothes. Luckily there was a dummy on the third floor in the student council room. It was breakable so I couldn't use it. I had to take off the clothes. I put it on the table and leaned over it and started taking the pants down. Something like this:

     Just then the vice principal and two teachers walk past the room and see me and come rushing in. They stared at me and then saw it was a dummy and gasped. Then I realized it and laughed. That's the shirt hanging down, not my bulging gut. I wear shirts loose to mask my bulging gut.

     Later I had a student help me and I was telling him to undress the dummy. In Japanese you don't really use pronouns that much. So I said "take off the pants". Guess who was walking by again? They came in again and this time I heard it in my head as I said it. I explained it as soon as they came in and we all laughed.

     Lastly, I was having the student throw the dummy out of the window and I was filming it along with another teacher. Just as we said "go" the auditors listed above walked around the corner. They saw us filming what appeared to be a student jumping out of the window. They gasped and ran toward it, along with the un-amused vice principal and then realized it was a dummy. Then the teacher explained it and they did not laugh.

     The timing was dead on all day. There were a few other instances where people came in at the perfect moment just to hear the wrong part of the conversation or see the wrong thing out of context.

     Oh, here's something amusing. Look at the clock in the picture and then look outside. It's not dark at 9:30am is it? I was still at school for 30 minutes more after this shot was taken.

     I have never stayed at school this long. Well maybe once when  we had some PTA meeting, but never at Fukushima Higashi on the JET program. Oh, the guy that's there after me is complaining about the same things I complained about. So it wasn't just me, it's that school. I still like it overall, but from here on out I will visit this new school I probably will never go back to Higashi since there is really nothing there for me. I will go to the night school graduation this year, well technically next March, but that will probably be the last time.  This graduating class will be the kids I really loved when I was there. They were nice and I had class with them every week.

     It's weird how you can bond with one class and not a whole school.  It must be a homeroom teacher thing or something. At my current school, my favorite class is the 4th graders. The other classes are good, but there is something tight and special about this whole class. I know it is because of the teacher, and this is one bad thing I hate about how they will transfer every three or four years. I am pretty sure he will leave this year and won't have the kids again. He has done a lot for them and they show it. I have an observed class with them in late November.

     Here is the semi finished weird thing the kids were working on. It's semi-cool, but there were several mistakes which caused a misspelling. It's supposed to say Evolution 2006, but it actually says 2016. It's not Evolution as in Darwin and Creationism. It means evolving as a person into a better person.

Fall Festival
Friday, October 20, 2006

     Today was the first part of our fall festival. Sunday will be the kid’s time and fun time. First we went into the gym and watched some videos and performances. It started out in usual form as we proceeded to do the most inefficient thing, one after another. First they insisted the sound cart be placed right in the middle of the doorway that everyone getting on the stage had to use. Then, rather than put all the groups that will be using the projector and computer back to back, they put dance groups or chorus groups in between each one. So when one would finish, we would take ten minutes moving the projector, screen, computer, and all the cables out of the way. Then we would put it all back and wait for the computer and projector to warm up. Then we had to use a microphone by the computer speakers because the cable from the computer to the sound cart was too short. BUT if we had moved the computer cart just 5 feet like I suggested, it would have been fine. But everything has a place and the computer cart’s place was 5 feet too far. I really didn’t care at that point.

     Then they had some teacher-student basketball challenge. I really didn’t want to participate for several reasons. One was I am not athletic. Not that I don’t like to run, but I am just not a sports person. I feel and look like a complete terd. Secondly I had to wear sports clothes, which don’t flatter me at all. Finally and the worst of it, I had to wear a yellow jersey that was honestly for a 5 year. It was so tight it really drew attention to my figure. I couldn’t remember which goal was ours and just wandering around. The only funny thing I did was not even jump for the jump shot since I was two feet taller than the student against me. Luckily there were too many people so we were supposed to play for a little bit and then change members. The whole game was 5 minutes so I played about 2 minutes and let someone else play. Then they said we had to play again, so I made sure I was near the back of the fill in players. Plus the first group of male teachers were a bunch of hardcore players so only two came out for others to play. YAY I didn’t have to look like a complete motard for a second time.

There is an art to being forgotten about, and I am an artist.

Then it was lunch time and we ate. I went up to the elementary school since I needed a shot of youthful energy. I sat with some quiet kids, which was not what I needed. One is a bit bossy and serious. She was quick to point out how many of my jokes were against the rules. Bossy people are not cool. They are big dumb mean heads. Once I saw this girl get smacked down by a teacher. Not literally, but the teacher was all like “don’t tell everyone what to do all the time, it’s not cool, just play and have fun, sometimes you won’t get your way, that’s life, deal with it”. It was in front of all the other kids too and she was bawling. I loved it, because that day she was being really bratty.

Then we cleaned the school, which is such a contradiction. The parts we clean are wicked shiny, but the parts we don’t are regular and dusty. I mean kids will scrub PART of the hall, or PART of the windows, and they do it well. But parts near it are left untouched. It’s strange. I think it is great for the kids to clean the school, but I wish we would be more thorough.

El Festivale
Sunday, October 22, 2006

     We had the school festival today. What an emotional day it was for the kids. It was emotional for me as well, but that was because everything was done in the most aggravating and inefficient way possible. That's what happens when you have no single person in charge of something. With no one in charge, everyone did whatever they wanted and things constantly overlapped or caused problems. The big thing that drove me nuts to the point I was about to scream involved this really cool video some girls made with the song Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper.

     I suggested before the show/festival that I or someone organize all the cords, set aside one mic for the projectors and a few for the stage, tell everyone to put the mics in a certain place when they were done, and several other logical efficient things. I was told it was all under control. In fact it wasn't. When the show started the mic cables were constantly tangled. When they showed the video the girls made for the song, they kept playing part of it over and over since there was a problem with the sound. A problem I expected and tried to prevent. It really ruined the presentation since we saw the first 15 seconds about 6 times and everyone was then tired of seeing it. ARGH. I swear if I were the hulk I would have smashed the room up. Groupism has benefits in a few places, but quite often it just bottlenecks everything. Next year I am just going to take over and do some things on my own.

     After the show we had a "job well done" party. Everyone congratulated me on the video I made for the elective class of seniors. It was funny, but could have been better. Anyway, these parties are always fun. Teachers relax and tell you more than they should. I had a fair amount to drink since I don't drink much anymore and really needed it.

Day Off
Monday, October 23, 2006

     Because of the school festival being held on a Sunday (so parents could attend) we had today off. I stayed in town, as mentioned above, since A) I didn’t want to go to the party and not drink, B) go to the party, drive back that night, then drive right back the next morning, and C) I had things to do in Koriyama and wanted to get some Starbucks coffee. I stayed in my usual cheap place and got a lot of things done. The big thing was that it is pay day and I had to send away more than half my check right away. I sent away $950 + $400 + $200 plus something else I forget now. But my bills are getting slightly lower which is good. I think I will work on a chart or spreadsheet for paying down my bills now.

One class
Tuesday, October 24, 2006

     Just one lousy class today. I shouldn’t complain, since this would have surely been a week or month of no classes at Fukushima Higashi High School in the past. Tomorrow I have no classes and then Thursday and Friday I should have two each day.

I am an anti…..
Wednesday, October 25, 2006

     That nice little 6^th grader who wears gothic or really conservative clothing stopped me in the hall this morning on the way to the teacher’s room. While strumming an air guitar she said:

     “I am an antichrist, I am an anarchist” then she begged me to teach her the rest of the Sex Pistol’s “Anarchy in the UK”. Hmmm, yea that would be some good English to learn, but no way I am teaching a 6^th grader things like “I wanna destroy the passer by coz…” and so on.

     Had a little language misunderstanding yesterday, but luckily I was on the receiving end. I sat at the lunch table and as I sat down the young teacher beside me said “jama jama”, which means interruption or disturbing. So I got up and moved. When I started to sit down this time, the same teacher said it to me again so I replied in Japanese “why am I disturbing you?” He stared at me and all the other teachers started laughing, he was saying “jamu jamu” which means “jam, jam (as in jelly)”. He was trying to give me some jam for the bread.

      I just worked out an aggressive loan payoff plan. I Think I can pay off all my debts, which is a lot, within a year and a